Rule Number One

This morning I read of an offer available for a car wash for just $1 if you bought gas and went into certain gas stations and told them the secret phrase, “MY CAR NEEDS A SHOWER!”

So, on our way to check out the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, go to the local bakery supply store, and get in a round of free glow in the dark putt putt golf (we live a life of excitement and luxury!), we stopped at one of these locations and I got $3.15 cents in gas (I’d just filled up the other day).  The boys and I went inside with the receipt and loudly whispered, “MY CAR NEEDS A SHOWER!”

Surprisingly, the clerk had no idea why she’d care that our car was dirty, but her manager was right by her and explained it.  Thank goodness…that would have been awkward.

Well, we drive around to the car wash, enter the code, enter the wash.  There was a warning sign saying to lower antenna, push side mirrors in, etc.  Well, of course I assumed they just meant for BIG cars, not my Kia Rondo (we ride in style, yo).

Begin the car wash.  I’d never been to this one and it was not a touch free kind.  It was a get into all the nooks and crannies with the plastic wash rags kind of car wash.

First thing to happen?  Both side mirrors are pushed backwards.  I’m talking on the phone to my sister and kind of get nervous, but thing, “Eh, it’ll be okay.”

Well, then, I have a BRILLIANT idea…I will just roll down the windows and push the mirror on my side into the door, instead of the position it was in.

While still on the phone with my sister, I see my chance.  The side rollers are done and the topper roller is getting ready to go.  I roll down my window and……….


Yep, right as I went to pull the mirror in (which turns out, I’d need TWO hands for, which meant I failed since I was still on the phone with my sister), the side sprayer started.  It got water all over me and the front of the car, and reached as far as onto Ethan, in the third row.

Rule Number One of car wash etiquette:  Never Ever Ever Roll Down Your Window…

I start yelling (Warning, Major cuss words if you are a Mormon), “OH,SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT”.  I do not know why I didn’t simply put down the phone and roll up the window.  I do not know why I did not yell something wholesome and pure, like, “Oh, fooey, what a silly thing I did.”.  I do not know why I thought rolling my window down in a car wash was ever a good idea.

Well, I yell in the phone, “I will call you back” and drop the phone.

Then…I listen.  The boys are all yelling, “SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT” and laughing their butts off.  I just dissolve into a huge fit of laughter and then reprimand the boys, teaching them that that is a very bad cuss word and that it is not a nice thing to say and that it makes Jesus sad when we say bad words like that.  I also have to apologize for saying it first and tarnishing their pure innocent ears and mouths.  😉

The whole thing was just so funny, that even typing this post, I am giggling.  I mean, what a classic MOMMY FAIL moment in like ten different ways.  And what a hilarious memory I will have forever…oh, and I am sure the boys will as well.  They will forget the things that aren’t important, like the time you baked them the best dinner ever, or the time you took them and five friends to a theme park or something insane like that, but they will ALWAYS remember the time their mom too them to an inside/out car wash and cussed like a sailor.
As a matter of fact, I bet that is the one thing they tell their teachers for “What I did for my summer vacation.”  (Or maybe I am giving myself too much credit?)

Anybody got any stories like that to share?


About Jess

Boy Crazy, Cake Baker, LSU loving, LDS blogging Mama!
This entry was posted in I'm so Mormon, Summer Fun!, The Joys of Boys, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Rule Number One

  1. Jeff McClure says:

    Was it like rolling down the windows in the middle of the mental hospital just as Mama hits the climax of a scary story?

  2. Brandy Nettles says:

    Thank you for making my day…lets just that both me and the hubby have pushed the button for the sunroof the wrong way while in the car wash! (trying to make sure it was closed)

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